I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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