im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
