yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
