her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We are all done wearing pants today
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
