dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
