Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
