oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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