i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
