I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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