Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
