You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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