I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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