So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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