it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
