it was like eating out sand paper
time to smoke my breakfast
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
