im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
