I think i peed on brittanys purse
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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