It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
