Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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