nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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