I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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