im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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