So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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