She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
