Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
