So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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