Are we in a gay sports bar?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
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