we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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