A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
