question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just high enough for therapy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
