remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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