Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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