So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
