Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
