I'm going to jail i love you
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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