Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
