walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
