shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
