I got chris browned last night
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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