Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
