Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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