i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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