people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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