My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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