Will you blow on my dice?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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