New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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