can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
