I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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