As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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