And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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