Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
