yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
