I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
