I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
