I am in a vortex of obligation.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
